Last Splash

Wednesday, 19 December 2007

I have a rant, and I will apologize in advance to anyone out there that is a parent, since I am not. I am really sick of this new style of parenting out there, you know, the one that has everyone scared to do or say anything to their kids that may cause emotional scarring later in life. Let me clue you in: EVERYONE will have emotional scarring, no matter how happy and well-adjusted they grew up. By you giving in to your freaking kids on every issue under the sun, you are creating a person who grows up thinking everything will always be their way. And, if you raise your child in a vacuum-sealed bubble "oh, we don't want Jonny to get hurt...so we didn't let him try out for football...he was being bullied, so we switched schools...he didn't make the swim team, so we spoke to the principal and school board about being more inclusive" WAKE UP...your child will be scared to try anything. Okay, I'm collecting my thoughts because I'm coming off a little disorganized.

I've been stewing over this for a while, after seeing all the parents in the mall for years who make excuses like "oh, the kids won't let me shop for long". Well, lady, 'the kids' are 9 and 12, and I'm pretty sure you just spend a couple hundred on them at Abercrombie, so they can sit quietly in a store for an hour while you get yourself something. So, it's well known that a lot of parents have basically traded in everything about their life before to cater to every whim and desire of their child's. I'm not saying that your life and priorities shouldn't change...I can tell that just by preparing myself to start trying to get pregnant...I'm quitting smoking, I spend most nights cooking dinner at home, I clean the house more and keep things organized, I rarely go out with friends just to 'drink and catch up', my husband and I spend less money on food...but, what makes being a parent so hard now? Do you forget what it was like to grow up goig over to a cousin's house on Saturday night and playing in a back bedroom while the adults sat around playing Pictionary and drinking? Because that's what our parents did...when they need a break, they called someone else with kids and said, "I've had a shitty week and I really want to relax tonight...let's get together".

And seriously, up until a kid hits at least 9 months, you can go to your mother-in-law's house for dinner and not go home until 9 or 10. You know why? Because your baby will eat, sleep, and poop whether she's at home or at grandma's. You don't have to be sealed into your house by 7PM every night. You don't have to change everyone's Christmas plans because "it's so much for her to go to so many places in two days..." or "shes been out a lot lately, it's not good for her". She's six freaking weeks old...she doesn't care if she's getting fed at your house or not, as long as she's getting fed, getting held, and sleeping well. Have you ever thought that maybe it's a good idea to let your baby meet lots of new people in early life so that she will grow up being able to communicate with everyone? Or do you really want her to be just like her mom, who gets nervous when she's left in the room alone with one of her husband's friends or family members, because she's so socially inept that she doesn't know how to speak to people...

In any case, this probably doesn't make a whole lot of sense to many, but I'm trying to prepare myself to be the kind of parent that does what is best for my child without losing all sense of who I am, who my friends are, and what my marriage should be! I know people say things change after you have kids, but I look at the way my parents raised me and my sister and think we had a lot of boundaries, a good amount of freedom, and respect for adults, and that's exactly what I want for my child. Not a snot nosed brat who expects to get her way all of her life because her parents have 'let her make her own decisions' from birth. That's a load of crap, all the people who 'treat their children like adults'...there is a reason your child is not an adult and can't make it's own decision. Seriously, people, lighten up...