Last Splash

Thursday, 31 August 2006

I'm soooo sorry that all of my posts are about wedding craps and being overweight, but I just have to vent somewhere. Plus, with my Red Sox more and more out of the playoffs and football and hockey not happening yet, I really have nothing else to talk about!

Why is it that the smaller your boobs are the more bras you can fit? And the more support you need (ie: beautiful, full, luscious DD's like mine), the less slection there is when you go bra shopping? I mean, really...I have to order mine online and pay for shipping just because I am blessed with what some consider to be perfect breasts? Am I being punished by the jealousy of all you lesser women out there, who have somehow banded together behind the backs of us "fuller figured" women and slipped into the focus group meetings and called up the lingerie companies to say things like "I find that my feelings are hurt when I go bra shopping and see the big cups all poking out at me...I would love it if the bra stores would remove those big, hurtful images that only remind me of all the advantages of the breasts I don't have"? Seriously? Because if I can't find a freaking size 38DD strapless, backless bustier in the color "nude" or "bare" I might just have to hoist my babies up with duct tape like the models do. Is that really how you want me to spend my wedding day? Or my wedding night, for that matter? Can you picture the grimace on my face as, on our wedding night, my new husband has to rip duct tape off my flesh? Would that make you feel better, you skinny little women with your "perky little apple boobies" as my friend used to call them...

Okay, rant over. I hope no one is offended and everyone read that as tongue-in-cheek!

posted by: Cannonball14 at 15:07 | link | comments (2) |
meow, bridezilla

Comments:

#1 31 August 2006 - 15:18

LOL. I had to laugh. It's hard enough for me to find decent bras (one of a handful of things I despise shopping for), I can't imagine the pain and anguish you go through.

Victoria's Secret has these bra thingies that mold to your skin, but I think they recommend you not wear them for more than 4 hours or something like that. Maybe you could alternate duct tape and bra thingies?

greeneyes

#2 05 September 2006 - 17:14

Ha! I'll tell you as I've told my boss...first of all, it would take the wrath of the devil holding a flaming gun of fire to my head to shop at Vickie's ever again, and second, those things only work if you have small to normal size breasts!