Last Splash

The gene pool could use a little Chlorine.

Contradictory

Driving home last night, something kept popping into my head about stereotypes. You know how growing up, in high school and college, all you want to do is fit in? It doesn't even have to be with the popular kids or the coolest, but everyone had their group that they fit into to. I didn't, and still don't. Don't get me wrong, I still wanted desperately to meld into a group, but I was the person that had lots of friends in different groups, but was never really a part of any of them.

I did theater and was actually very involved, TA of a first year class my senior year, directing a play, working on a lot of stuff in my spare time for our drama teacher, but I was never a drama freak. Or one of the "chorus" students that always seemed to be so popular. I was nominated for homecoming queen and outstanding senior by some random cheerleader in my homeroom class, (I didn't make it to the finalist list, but I wasn't the last name anyone expected to see, either) and I still have never figured out if it was a joke or if she was really trying to bring me into her "group". (I don't know because by my senior year I had stopped caring if the cheerleaders wanted to be my friend and I basically ignored her.)

I'm a dancer who has picked up a lot over the years performing in and teaching a performing group, but I'm not one of those girls that can watch a dance movie and chatter constantly about "oh, I remember breaking in your shoes...I did this and this and this to my pointe shoes" and "that is so not how you're supposed to do a tour j'ete'".

I love sports without ever having competed any, unless you count how into field hockey I would get when we got to play it during gym class, or church softball leagues. (If we would only have had field hockey teams at my high school, that would have been my group. I would've kicked ass!)

I love clothes (I work in a clothing store for christs sakes) and I am well dressed (sometimes) without having a pronounced personal style. I read fashion magazines, I buy scarves, but I prefer to wear them the traditional way instead of wrapped around my head and pinned with a brooch.

I'm loud and fun and slightly on the obnoxious side when I drink a little (there are some who would say more than slightly). I also like to be quiet and calm when I'm not in the mood for chatter. I have one gorgeous, large, beautifully placed tatoo (meaning, not at the small of my back because I'm not a sorostitute, remember) and would love to have a couple more, but I'm not goth or hardcore or alternative in any way. I love the mountains, love hiking and being in beautiful, natural places, but no one would ever label me "granola" or "hippie". I'm well read and would love to be well travelled, despite being from the South and raised by a family that's been in the same county for three or four (or more) generations. I love the beach and come from boating parents, love our vacations, but I'm not a surfer or a "beach bum" type. Give me a week to unwind and then I'm ready for something besides the beach. A day trip is a beautiful thing. I drive a truck but country music makes up about 10% of what I like to listen to. I'm tall but I don't play basketball, and never did. Quit asking!

Basically, I've learned through my journey of ongoing self-discovery that I don't have to fit into any group or stereotype. I think I like challenging people's perceptions of me, watching them try to mold me into one thing in their mind and then doing something out of character. It's better to be what I am: someone that is not as self-confidant as I'd like to be, but can go to a movie by myself. I can be friends with hippies, rednecks, freaks, sluts, and librarians all at the same time, because there is a little bit of each one of those in me, but not enough of any for me to be labeled.

posted by: Cannonball14 at 13:49 | link | comments |

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