Last Splash

The gene pool could use a little Chlorine.

I'm soooo sorry that all of my posts are about wedding craps and being overweight, but I just have to vent somewhere. Plus, with my Red Sox more and more out of the playoffs and football and hockey not happening yet, I really have nothing else to talk about!

Why is it that the smaller your boobs are the more bras you can fit? And the more support you need (ie: beautiful, full, luscious DD's like mine), the less slection there is when you go bra shopping? I mean, really...I have to order mine online and pay for shipping just because I am blessed with what some consider to be perfect breasts? Am I being punished by the jealousy of all you lesser women out there, who have somehow banded together behind the backs of us "fuller figured" women and slipped into the focus group meetings and called up the lingerie companies  to say things like "I find that my feelings are hurt when I go bra shopping and see the big cups all poking out at me...I would love it if the bra stores would remove those big, hurtful images that only remind me of all the advantages of the breasts I don't have"? Seriously? Because if I can't find a freaking size 38DD strapless, backless bustier in the color "nude" or "bare" I might just have to hoist my babies up with duct tape like the models do. Is that really how you want me to spend my wedding day? Or my wedding night, for that matter? Can you picture the grimace on my face as, on our wedding night, my new husband has to rip duct tape off my flesh? Would that make you feel better, you skinny little women with your "perky little apple boobies" as my friend used to call them...

Okay, rant over. I hope no one is offended and everyone read that as tongue-in-cheek!

posted by: Cannonball14 at 15:07 | link | comments (2) |
meow, bridezilla

I spoke too soon: Momzilla strikes.

My mom is a very dear person to me...she's strong and gentle and sensitive and very sweet, and the last person on earth I'd ever want to hurt or disappoint. So, when she asked me if she could invite some people she works with to the wedding today, I hit my breaking point. (Notice how it is now the wedding, instead of my wedding.) I've been so stressed lately with marriage and money and work, and I'm not eating well, barely sleeping well (although I never really sleep well anyway) and I just felt cornered. Then I felt even worse because when I was silent and said I'd really rather her not, she brough up the "well, I figure the only place it'll add cost is the reception food, and that's what we're paying for anyway". But my thought is, if I've cut down my list as much as possible, and we're not inviting some of John's extended family or the women I work with, is it really fair for people I don't even know to be invited?

posted by: Cannonball14 at 18:20 | link | comments (1) |
bridezilla

Rule number 1 for planning a wedding: it's okay to change your mind. About everything. I hope anyone that reads this blog (all 6 of you...) will remember this if you ever find yourself in love and trying to manifest the personalities of two very different individuals (and your mom) into a vision. Case in point: the wedding cake. I was adamant from pre-engagement that my wedding cake would be a sparse, square, modern confection with icing barely smoothed out, kind of the "rustic" look. Yes, it was a vision of sophistication, and something as far from "fairy princess frou-frou crap" as you can get. And my fiance' hated it. Long story short, I've come around. You simply cannot have a stark cake in the midst of what has become a beatiful, elegant fall wedding full of antique, vintage touches, and music only from the 40's to motown. It just doesn't make sense. So I am now enchanted with round cakes with stenciled vines and fall leaves made of icing adorning my cake. Pile on the embellishment, baby!

By the way, I can't remember if I ever posted about my actual dress, but another word of warning. Unless you are very hard to fit (like, 5'2") or loaded and able to spend what you want, go to a discount place, or a website. The full service bridal salons I visited while shopping had the highest prices and the smallest selection of dresses (unless you happen to be a size 6, 8, or 10) and were very un-sympathetic when I complained about the size selection. I ordered my dress from a website online (netbride.com) that is connected to a bridal shop in Minneapolis. I payed $200 less for my dress than any bridal salon quoted me, measured my own damn self, and took a chance on ordering a dress I had not seen. (And I would have done that even at a bridal salon b/c no one carried the dress I wanted, so I wouldn't have been able to see it in person anyway.) You know what? It's perfect. I'm so excited that it's here and it fits (mostly...about 5 pounds away) and it just gives this sense of 1940's lightweight lace and glamour. No pouffy ballgown for this princess, right?

Also, the unthinkable has happened. My stomach hurts. All these bridal shows that my girlfriend watches (I mean, she watches EVERY one of them...DVR is her best friend...all those extravagent weddings on WE and the TLC weddings and that other one about wedding planners...ALL of them) have these brides that get all stressed out and don't eat for like, two months before their wedding. Well, just the other night I was saying how I was unfortunately not blessed with that gene because when I stress, I want to eat for comfort, so I'll really have to fight to lose weight to look great on my wedding day (two words: Tennis Tuesday). The next day, I awoke with a stomachache. And for three days now, every time I eat, I feel stuffed for three hours afterwards, so although I haven't lost all apetite, I am eating less. Thank you, wedding jitters. I really don't feel stressed, so I'm getting the best of both worlds: unstressful wedding planning with a stomach bug. Yeah for me, queen of shallow happiness.

For those interested in the actual relationship, I think J is starting to feel like he's missed out on all the planning. So cute. So, he's been very helpful lately! Took charge of the registry, is working on the address list, and has visited two fabric stores, Party City, and Michael's to help me pick fabric, stamps, and practice paper since he's printing the programs. I love him for it!

posted by: Cannonball14 at 18:10 | link | comments (3) |
bridezilla

I have a new CD! I went to Target to buy Gnarls Barkley and couln't find the damn thing, so I bought Anna Nalick instead. I know what you're thinking: "how many times have I said I would never buy another album after only hearing one track" but I broke the rule. At first, I was thinking, "yeah, that's pretty much the only good song, but it's a great song" (Breathe: 2 AM) and "jeez, I didn't realize she really was a true pop artist". But after listening to it several times through (well, listening to the slow songs several times through, the rest of them I skipped faster than you can say Turn the Beat Around) I actually found several tracks that were worthy of owning. So, for those of you that enjoy some slow, slightly romantic but caustic music about what every song is about (love and/or losing love) I recommend most of the even tracks. "Wreck of the Day" (title track) is a great song, and my favorite is "In My Head" (kind of Cranberrie-esque), but pretty much 4,6,8, and 10 are worth a listen. So ha! My theory was busted.

posted by: Cannonball14 at 00:08 | link | comments (2) |
music theory

All right, kids. I am back in full swing. My store is in hiatus. Latest news is that I might open on Black Friday, which is crazy and unheard of in the retail world, but hey...it's be a guaranteed success. Wedding plans are ripening quickly. We're still searching for a cake. Meeting a DJ today. Freaking out about doing my flowers myself. Freaking out about how expensive flowers are, even if you do them yourself. Bought the bachelorette airplane tickets. Picked out flower girl dresses for my mom to sew. Just realized I have to address 100 invites in the next 3 weeks. Holy Crap.

posted by: Cannonball14 at 18:11 | link | comments (8) |
the retail beast, bridezilla